MOTHER TROUBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow i dont understand my mom at all.. she wants me to respect her but it seems she never respects me . i thought it was you give it to get it i guess not in her world .. i have a big project?history paper due and i dont have a computer at home so i acame over to my cousins house i have been going oer there everyother weekend since the end od feb and to day my mom gets upset... she asked me 'WHY DIDNT YOU DO YOUR REPORT LAST NIGHT ' well i guess she thought i was coming home saturday but i told her i was staying the weekend i dont knowwhat to do ... i wonder if she likes to see me in the house all by my self with no oe to chill with not being and 18 year old teenager..... i an see if i went out parting instead of starting my project but i didnt all i did was go to walmart... for goodness sake im 18 and i understand i still live in her house but im really getting tired of living my shy life of not doin anything and she's not helping some of my shy problems do stem from her like how i dont always ask for help of stuff even though i know i need it because when i would ask her ,, her response is always nasty im stuck in a rock and a hard place. i dont whant to move out because life is hard and i dont have the money or the resources but im tired of being treated like crap and a nobody whaty to do what to do?????????????????????????????

My Lyfe right now

i just read a blog from one of my close friends and she was saying how her a a group of friends got together to chill ... well while reading that post i relized thatim a real stick in the mud i dont go out i dont pary i dont chill over friends house and i dont even call or talk on the fone with them..... i guess it's because im always scared that someone is going to say something bad about me and its gonna hurt. i have a close friend that is also a cousin and she asked me why i alwasy turn down an invite somewhere but always wants to be invited i used to say that i want to be thought about or that someone wants to hang wit me but now i realise that i dont know why i do that.now that my legg is messed up my life really sux i stay in the house all day and dont do nuttin. i wanna change and go out and party like others but when i think about the past i get scared cuz i know how it is wen ppl talk trash im a big girl and ppl see that as a open door for a fun tyme to talk about me.. i guess i need to stop worring about what ppl say but its hard.... i hope i get over it by prom cuz i wanna havies that weekend boiiiiiii

What's inside is different from the outside!!!!

Did you ever wonder who a person is.... it seems that society has us looking on the outside and not on the inside. we used to do both but know if they look a certain way then that's how they r to you for life. when really the meanest looking person could in the inside be the most caring person. I'm not saying that i don't do it as well but people have their categories and they have a way of sorting them out. i wonder how people view me because i am big i must be greedy,nasty,lazy and ugly.....
I'm not i do like to eat don't get me wrong but i don't have to eat every five Min's like ppl think I'm not nasty, i like to get out and do things so I'm not lazy and i know for d**m sure know i m not ugly. so for people to look at me with disgust and ignorance check your self out first because in the long run the way my life has been helps me see other ppls views. which will get me very far IN THE INSIDE I'M A VERY CARING AND HUMBLE PERSON I TRY TO GET ALONG WITH EVERYONE I DO FOR PPL MORE THAN I DO FOR MY SELF SO WHEN YOU SEE ME ON THE STREET AND YOU LOOK OVER AT ME WITH IGNORANCE AND DISGUST KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE ONE MISSING OUT ON KNOW A GREAT BEAUTIFUL PERSON........................................

how could you

i don't like to get played . and today i feel lik i did . one of my friends told me her friends cuz thought i was cute. but i didnt pay any mind cuz i know how dudes r so thats why i stay away from dudes sometymes they always have something bad to say and i aint the skinnest thing out there. but when she showed me his pix i told him in a txt that he was cute it took him a while to txt back "WHat" but i didnt care i kinda figured that was gone happen i just feel she got my head all big for a dude that didnt lik me and it hurt then i find out he really liked her other cuz so its werid thats why i dont go out and party or meet new ppl but it just suxx

The best day ever ~March 11th 1991~

tomorrow is my big 18 boii im happy that i9m finally 18 but like everyone says it just lik your 17 in some ways. but im just happy its my b-day and stuff now that I'm 18 i can work longer hours and do stuff with out my mom consent . the one thing i want do is get my second hole in my ears and then the bar in the top i want my nose done and later on in the Summer i want my tongue done. yea i know everyone has that done but ive wanted mine done since i was lik 10-12 years old because my sister had it and i thought it was so cute. so i aint a BIT-TER. well i dont know what imma do on my birthday but i hope ihave fun might chill wit the bettays

This week (HSPA)

My weekend was great it started off on Saturday i had to go to my cousin's house to use the computer. i had heard that the financial aid paper was due by march the 1st. so i go and fill this thing out on the computer just to find out it's not no where near due. Well after i lifted that weight off my shoulders i began to play the ps3 with my cousin he spanked me in this fighting game then my we started to play grand theft auto IV we ate and then i found out that i was staying the night it was fun. the next day we did the same thing just stayed in the house and chill. Then it started to snow. i love the snow but my big cousin doesn't so i said the night for another 2 days because we didn't have school on the 2ND and today was a delayed opening thanks to the HSPA. I hope all the juniors do well because if i would have failed i would of had a mental break down. a lot of people try to scare kids with the hspa but they don't realize that it could hurt them more then it could help then.some people take pressure different. so for the rest of the week i get to come In late YAAAAAYYYYYYYYY lol